In Their Own Words
• Some Reasons for Attending
• Who Might Benefit
• What Kind of "Retreat" to Expect
• Finding Your Own Comfort Zone
• Creating Lasting Memories …
• …And Lasting Friendships
• The Gift of Sharing
• Focusing on the Whole Person
• Making Time for Fun
• Celebrating Survival
• Benefiting From Facilitators, Not Leaders
• The Accommodations
• If You’re Unsure Whether You Want to Give it a Try …
Since my diagnosis, I have felt my world to be spinning out of control. At times I felt so alone. I was in search of “firm ground” to place my feet. I found it here at Infinite Boundaries. I am leaving this place more relaxed than even before my illness. I received so many gifts from this program – each gift is a woman (20 of them) that know exactly have I feel.
Jeannie R, August 2007
Infinite Boundaries taught me when you are at the edge is when you learn to fly.
Liz, October 2007
Attending this retreat has been a major life-changing experience. I will never forget the people and generosity of spirit I received from the faciliatators… Seeing women laugh, cry and heal before my eyes as we shared our common story in many individual ways has created a powerful bond that will continue to grow.
September 2007 Retreat Attendee
After all the time spent in care of others, the silence that follows treatment can be deafening. It’s an easy time for all the fears and insecurities to surface. This retreat has helped me see that I needed to face and name these, one by one, in order to let them go. It should be a required step in treatment!
Barb, July 2008
I thought the retreat was going to be nice, a getaway for me. But in no way did I expect it to be the dramatic, life-changing experience that it was. The retreat gave me permission to analyze and deal with feelings I didn’t know I had, because I had tucked them away so effectively. By the end of the weekend I felt as exhilarated as if I had just climbed Mount Everest.
Sue Neabling
My family and friends had been saying, get over it, get on with your life. It’s not always that easy, and all the people there understood that. I had been harboring anger at relatives for abandoning me when I needed them most, and I shed that anger in the letting-go ceremony. I also found strength in the other women’s strength. Because of the retreat, I’m much closer to being at the point where I can get on with my life.
Cheryl Midyett
The retreats do more than just help you through the current misery in your life. People learn that there are other ways to cope with their situation. It puts cancer in its place. Life comes first so you can live your life well every day.
Joan Maryniak
When you’re that ill, the medical community is working frantically to save your life. When they’re done, there you sit. With the cancer diagnosis, it was like a fire went out of my soul. With the Infinite Boundaries retreat, a little flame sparked back to life, and I felt like I could move forward. Breast Cancer Recovery is truly marvelous.
Katherine Stolen-Sine
Infinite Boundaries retreat for women with metastatic (advanced) breast cancer: “This is the only opportunity I’ve had to spend time with other women in my situation. It’s meant the world to me. They give me strength! I feel hopeful and rejuvenated and it felt so good to share. I loved this group of warriors.”
“Women with metastatic breast cancer are a smaller subgroup within a larger group of b.c. survivors, and yet our issues are so different. Thankfully, Breast Cancer Recovery retreats give us a rare opportunity to connect with others who truly understand what we’re going through.” – Retreat attendee March 2009
Infinite Boundaries retreat for young women with breast cancer: “I was hoping for a magic wand to be passed over me at the retreat and for all my fears, regrets, anger and resentment to be ‘poof’ gone. I’m so thankful that this is not what happened this weekend, for I would have really missed out on part of my healing journey. I was able to really connect with other young survivors who know what I went through and could love and comfort me in ways I never thought possible.”
Infinite Boundaries retreat for “solo” women with breast cancer without spouse, significant other or partner: “The retreat has helped calm my fears and see that I can choose hope. I need to spend my time choosing life.”
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The Infinite Boundaries retreat is a marvelous opportunity for any woman, no matter how long or short the time since her diagnosis. Everyone has strong personal experiences that are empowering to them. The diversity of experiences then come together to bring incredible value to our lives. It reminds me that healing is very different from what we think of as curing. Healing can be a long process, and it occurs at many different times for all of us. This retreat is another part of our healing – and an incredible gift to us all.
Nancy Saulsbury
I was hesitant to come. I’m not a support group person. I don’t want to feel trapped or pressured. Yet something resonated in the words of the brochure – renew, rejuvenate, refresh, healing of the spirit. It’s what I wanted, what I hoped to receive. Thank you for delivering a program that exceeded my expectations and giving me tools to begin again.
Mary, August 2007
I was 13 years out from my surgery, so I felt rather ambiguous about attending the retreat. Once I finished my treatments I did not want to look back on any of that again, I just wanted to get on with my life. And yet for me the retreat was incredible, an opportunity to share experiences, council one another, ask questions, and learn. By the time I left, my heart was so full.
Janet Peterson
I attended just after finishing my chemo. For me, this retreat was so basic to getting myself grounded.
Betty Wolf
When I talked to someone I thought might want to go to a retreat, she said, "I’m just not the touchy-feely type." But I told her that you don’t have to share. No one makes you feel odd for just listening, and no one expecting you to disclose anything. A woman at my retreat had been on the quiet side, yet she said at the end how much she enjoyed it all, and how moving and helpful it had been for her. You just do whatever feels comfortable for you.
Judi Janowski
Some women at my support group just kept talking about the retreat but I thought it wasn’t for me; I didn’t know if it would do any good. But they repeated to me that I had no idea how wonderful this experience is. Now I know what they were talking about.
Cheryl Murray
What Kind of "Retreat" to Expect
These retreats are incredibly well run. I have worked in nonprofits for years. And the Infinite Boundaries retreats are superbly organized and superbly done to meet the needs of women regardless of how long they’ve been diagnosed or what stage they’re at.
Joan Johanson
I’m a cradle Catholic and I did retreats all through school–the kind where you didn’t talk and you prayed on your knees the whole time. This isn’t that kind of retreat! Guilt trips are not allowed, talking and activities and laughter is.
Phyllis L.
Infinite Boundaries is women helping women, survivors helping others to be survivors. I think everyone walked away feeling that they had not only been helped but that they had helped others. What a great feeling.
Cheryl Midyett
I was interested in Infinite Boundaries because, to me, "retreat" means to go away from your present circumstances and have time to reflect and meditate, to have quiet time and active time. That’s what I wanted and needed, and Infinite Boundaries came through for me.
Martha Vincent
When I go on a BCR retreat, I feel like I belong to the clan, the clan of women that have been touched by cancer. After the second day the connection is very strong. When I am with my clan I feel invinicble no matter what the outcome may be. I feel nurtured, loved and understood. I don’t have to explain anything to anyone. It’s magical.
Florence Brunel
I was excited about going to the retreat even though I tend to be slightly shy, and even though I was a little apprehensive about my physical stamina so soon after my treatments. But regardless of your physical capabilities, or of your interest in socializing, you will be made to feel comfortable. There will be laughter, insights, tears, and joy.
Ellen Marendaz
You know, I’m not a group person. What I liked about the retreat was that you could maintain individuality but still be an integral part of the group. Although there’s group time and individual time and activity time, you’re welcome to choose what feels right for you.
Rhoda S.
The personality differences are interesting rather than being a problem. I went on a scholarship for my retreat, but yet when we’re all together there’s a strong feeling we’re all on the same level. When we all bring our individuality to our interactions, we create a rich mixture of experiences.
Joan Maryniak
Creating Lasting Memories . . .
You can benefit so much from what seem like offhand conversations. When I was kayaking in Lake Superior with another woman, we glided by trees hanging off the edge of the cliffs, their roots exposed. And I said, "That’s not the way a tree is supposed to live, with its roots exposed." She said, "You don’t always need an optimal situation in order to survive." I realized what a wonderful image that was for many of us who have this disease. And I’ve thought of it so often ever since.
Grace Schwingel
Kayaking – This activity was out of my comfort zone. I am now addicted. I can do anything!
Susan, August 2007
I found myself here on the Island. I found out more of what I need to get healthy again and to live with cancer with less fear. I gained hope, which was important to me because I was losing my hope and my will to keep going. These women renewed my faith that all is well. Thank you for this wonderful experience. I shall always be grateful and I will never forget.
Sheryl, June 2007
I shall remember this time always. Bless you for this opportunity to let go of being a victim and embrace life again.
Lydia, July 2008
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. . . And Lasting Friendships
I’ve been so busy staying strong so others around me don’t panic. This is a hugely-needed break to just recoup and rest with others in the same boat. Others without cancer just don’t understand, no matter how they try.
Anoymous, 2008
I can’t fully explain the bonding, but you share so much of your souls with each other. And you give each other strength. You arrive as strangers, and I left feeling like I had 20 sisters.
Jackie Gilbert
The bonding that occurs in a retreat is difficult to find in a support group. As a result of the retreat I have eight wonderful new friends, and we get together about three times a year now to have another revitalizing weekend. We decided that the next time we get together we’re just going to have to wear Depends, because we laugh so hard.
Carol D.
I’m not an outdoorsy person and when I read that the retreat was in the north woods I was apprehensive. But once I got there it was fantastic. The bonding that takes place is indescribable—maybe it’s the magic of Madeline Island, who knows. I was on such a high when I got home. And each time our group gets together for a weekend reunion, I’m bouncing off the walls for days afterwards.
Cheryl Midyett
Infinite Boundaries transcends racial, cultural, and religious differences. We were “sisters by choice.” I’m forever changed.
Tami, June 2008
We had such a mixture of people, all different ages and types of women from all different backgrounds. There was something about the safe, nurturing environment there — so respectful of each person–that we all came together and really formed friendships.
Judy VonBergen
The retreat totally changed my life, and I think it’s life changing for most women who attend it. I came away a different person in terms of how I thought about the disease. For me it’s also a blessing to be a retreat volunteer and be able to help other women in the same way. If you have experienced a traumatic event and you’ve learned how to overcome it, it then becomes a precious gift that you can share with others.
Cindy Peterson
We spoke about a good many issues that a lot of us hold in our hearts but are afraid to talk about and communicate with other people. And when you have a chance to verbalize some of your fears, they don’t have the hold on you that they did when you held them inside.
Kathy Saunders
I was co-founder of a support group that has grown to be very successful. It’s great to see the large numbers of women, but it can be difficult to share in a large group with a limited time frame. I found the retreats to be more concentrated, and offering greater intimacy because of the small group. We focused on a number of different subjects–some difficult to talk about, but we all know the discussions won’t go any farther than that room.
Cheryl Murray
It wasn’t until the retreat that I recognized one of my biggest concerns all along: what is my family going to do if I’m not here? Will they continue to function as a family? I didn’t imagine my husband reaching out as much as I tend to. And I realized on that trip that I can give up that worry. Even though I’m fine now, my family will be fine regardless.
Judy VonBergen
Probably two of the issues that are the most difficult to discuss but yet are very important are sexuality and cancer recurrence. These were both presented in very tasteful ways that made all of us, I think, feel comfortable, and that led to meaningful and open discussions. The topic of sexuality, we agreed, is something that doctors will not touch with a ten-foot pole–which made our sharing all the more important.
Kathy Saunders
It was the first place I was able to articulate my fears about recurrence and death. It’s really hard to do that with your family, because they’re having such a hard time dealing with this anyhow. And while I had thought about it often, the retreat was the first place I actually said those words. For me, that was huge, because it had such a profound healing effect.
Judi Janowski
No matter how much your loved ones care about you and try to understand, they can’t have the same depth of feeling that someone does when she’s been there. The retreat is a place to listen and to talk and to learn and to share.
Joan Maryniak
Emotions will claim their day whether you want them to or not. And if you’re holding it in and not sharing with people, it’s like a time bomb. The retreat helped give me a deep sense of accomplishment. The courage to live has replaced the fear of the disease.
Phyllis L.
Through the retreat, I have found “me” again! Each part of the retreat helped me piece myself together again. I’m not finished, but I am back on the road.
Sharon, November 2006
The retreat helped me find my spirit. I used to do oil painting, traveling . . . and over time some things go on the back burner. The retreat brought me back to what I really enjoy doing. It also makes you think about your relationships with others, and what you can do to change them.
Penny
The benefits were so multifaceted–there are simply too many to list. Suffice it to say . . . I benefited . . . heart, mind, body, and soul.
Sue Neabling
Some activities delve into artistic exploration, and even though we didn’t do drawing on the island, the retreat inspired me to take up drawing after I returned home. Our creativity is a part of ourselves we tend to ignore, and yet it can be so therapeutic.
Janet Peterson
It had spiritual, physical, and emotional aspects. It had camaraderie and quiet time. It had wonderful meals. Time for socialization outside of organized activities. Really, I’m lost for words to describe just what a wonderful all-around retreat it was.
Carol D.
I found walking the labyrinth a peaceful experience. You wonder at first, what’s the big deal. But I found it fed my soul in a way that I never expected.
Jackie Gilbert
I felt surrounded by extraordinary care. And at the same time we laughed, laughed a lot.
Betty Wolf
I sailed for the first time in my life while I was there. Oh my gosh, it was so exciting! I did a donut.
Joan Maryniak
To see women come with fear in their face and a tear in their eye and by Saturday night they’re laughing like they haven’t laughed since they were seven. It was fantastic.
Carol D.
I thought kayaking was for younger women, and I had my doubts whether I could do it. But I absolutely loved the feeling of freedom and lightness, as if I were flying. Also, seeing how well I could maneuver it even with my one arm that doesn’t work so well now. In fact I’ve decided that I’m going to buy one. It’s something I can probably continue to do into my 80s. So for me the retreat wasn’t just something to stretch my boundaries, it introduced me to something I fell in love with.
Rhoda S.
I appreciated all of the things related to the retreat–not only the discussion groups, but the opportunities to try new experiences such as fly-fishing, beading, and taking boat trips. Plus, you come away from the weekend feeling like you’ve been royally pampered. It was just a super experience.
Kathy Saunders
No matter the activity, the instructors are so enthusiastic that they help you believe in yourself, help you believe that you can do it. And you do!
Rhoda S.
Before coming to retreat, I was scared, lonely, devastated, depressed and in a lot of pain. I never felt like a whole woman. But after, I did feel much better about myself and feel like a new woman with a new attitude.
JoAnn, July 2008
My husband, Claude, said that I was different when I came back. I was more relaxed and open. I think that the intense emotions that came out, the laughter and joy, the music, the physical activities and the discussions all combined to help transform the experience of breast cancer.
Ellen Marendaz
The retreat can open your eyes about ways to live differently. You know, there’s no such thing as a problem that doesn’t also have a gift for you in its hands. And Breast Cancer Recovery is one of the gifts that I got out of cancer.
Grace Schwingel
For me the retreat was almost like a lifeline. It was there I understood the difference between being healed and being cured. One can be healed and returned to life in a much more positive way, even though one might not be totally cured.
Judi Janowski
I found the letting go ceremony especially powerful. We wrote down things we were willing to let go of and we put them in the fire. I think whenever you have breast cancer or another chronic disease, there are things you need to let go of. Whether it’s shame about having the disease or anger about it or guilt about not being as available to your family. It’s very healing to let go of these things.
Martha Vincent
I am a firm believer that emotions have an effect on the body. And I believe the retreat is one of the reasons that I have survived so long despite a very dismal prognosis. The retreat was a way to celebrate my survival, move beyond my fear of recurrence, and share my emotions with women who had had a similar experience.
Ellen Marendaz
Benefiting From Facilitators, Not Leaders
I have been to other retreats, but this one was different because the staff was comprised of breast cancer survivors who understood and cared.
Sandra, September 2008
It’s important to mention the facilitators–they really facilitate rather than lead. That’s an important distinction that allows everyone to feel on equal footing.
Rhoda S.
At a gathering like this, people might just clam up and not say anything. The constancy and the skill of the leaders was wonderful. People really shared, and you have to give the credit for that to the facilitators.
Patricia W.
I’ve gone to a lot of workshops and sometimes people have their own agenda, they just talk at you. This was different. In part because we all had had that knife-in-the-heart experience of breast cancer. But mostly because of the genuine sharing we did, and because of the respect and support we gave to each other.
Betty Wolf
I appreciated the openness and frankness with which the staff presented information, whether it was sensitive information about sexuality or the latest in estrogen treatments.
Sue Neabling
One of the things I was very pleased about was the accommodations. That’s superficial compared to what the whole retreat is about, but it’s very important. Each woman has her own private space. Yet you walk out into the great room, sit in front of the fireplace, and you can share time with whomever is there. I really appreciated that.
Joan Maryniak
The retreat setting was out in the country, just beautiful. One of our facilitators was a Native American woman who talked about the bond we have with the earth, even though many people don’t even recognize it. There is a special spot in my heart just for that place.
Jackie Gilbert
The setting on Madeline Island was beautiful. There’s something so magical about that water–a healing thing. And there’s also something magical about sitting around a fire. And the food . . . the food is absolutely out of this world.
Dyan Armstrong
I loved the location. I wanted to get away, far from home, which I associated with treatments and doctors’ visits. I liked being transported to an entirely different place. It’s absolutely gorgeous there.
Judi Janowski
If You’re Unsure Whether You Want to Give It a Try . . .
My advice would be to give it a chance. Because you might be a person who tends to be very private, and what’s nice is that there’s no expectation about sharing. You can participate as much or as little as you wish, and you will benefit just from being with other women who have been through what you have been through.
Patricia W.
The retreat is awesome. From the moment you arrive and are greeted, you’re in a very relaxing environment. You quickly realize you are going to be pampered the entire time you’re there.
Jackie Gilbert
I feel like the doctors took care of my body with surgery and treatments, and Breast Cancer Recovery took care of my soul and my spirit. The doctors say, "You had your surgery, now go on your way and come back in three or six months and we’ll check you." I thought no, I need more. And the retreat provided that.
Grace Schwingel
For you to really be all the person you can be, you have to take care of yourself. Part of that is the medical care—the surgery, the treatments, the tamoxifen—but you also need to take care of your soul. I felt like I grew spiritually and emotionally on so many levels. Going on this retreat is a way for you to make yourself more whole, and by doing that, there is more of you to give to others.
Jackie Gilbert
It’s easy to think that if there’s time or money left over you’ll take care of yourself. And if you do that consistently, there’s never time or money left over, let’s face it. You are worth it. And if money is an issue, you can get financial support, like I did.
Grace Schwingel
When you try to tell people how intense and incredible this experience was, and how you develop such a camaraderie and closeness with these women, they can’t really believe it’s true. But indeed it is true. I know so many women who have gone now, and everybody feels the same way.
Dyan Armstrong